02/09/2010 again
The 'Best
of Penn says: Religion' DVD is now available at Amazon!
02/09/2010
I can't access my fan page on Facebook again! I'm getting a
little bit ticked off about it.
Anyway, one of my friends
posted an update about
Lucilio
Vanini, a really good-looking Italian guy (if the picture on
his coin is accurate) born in 1585. He was an atheist and dared
to say so, even after being forced to write a book condemning
atheism. And for his trouble he had his tongue cut out, was
strangled at the stake, and burned. He was tortured and murdered
by Christians on February 9, 1619.
So, I hereby declare Feb. 9
as Vanini Remembrance Day. I wish I could have had his love
child.
02/08/2010
I created a contact form for the website and this blog. I
guess it's pretty rudimentary, but it's what I could figure out
with my limited knowledge of FrontPage (and I still needed my
husband's help).
I already got a comment! How cool is that? My
reader said, basically, that God let's us pray, even for little
things. We have to be quiet and wait for the answer. Of course,
sometimes that answer is no.
You really have to hand it to the
religious! They have rationalized the crap out of their beliefs.
If you pray, and you get what you pray for: Yay, God! God is
GREAT! Just look at the awesome power of prayer! See how that is
proof that God exists and loves us?
If you pray, and you don't
get what you want, the answer was no. Yay, God! God is GREAT!
Just look at the awesome power of prayer! See how that is proof
that God exists and loves us?
Uh-huh. Right. Okay.
As to my
friend's cell phone. I guess the answer was a big, fat NO. It
died. She has to get a new one. And not one word about the
miracle or the fact that all that praying did diddly squat. Do
you have ANY idea how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut
on Facebook about that? Near impossible, let me tell you!
I
mean, after the relapse I really wanted to know what happened to
the miracle? Don't God's miracles stick? Was she supposed to
continue praying? Or did she not express enough gratitude or
something? If not, why didn't she just admit that there was no
miracle, after all?
Or is it that all this prayer, god, and miracle talk is just
so much a part of some people's vernacular that they don't even
listen to what they're saying. Maybe her "prayers" were just her
being upset about her phone and hoping it would be okay. Maybe
when her silly friends said they'd pray too, they didn't really.
Maybe just saying they will is an expression of concern and
compassion.
That would be odd. But I'm wondering if that's the way it
is...
So, now you don't have to email me your comments and
risk me sending back a nasty response. (I'll just give a nasty
response here or on the comments page!) If you want me to email
you, include your name and email address and I might just do
that. If you do not want me to publish that information, tell me
and I won't, UNLESS you are rude, hateful, and insulting. Then I
might just do it anyway. But I'm not especially out to hurt
anyone, so I likely will honor your wishes even so.
02/05/2010
Well, my poor friend's phone had a relapse and she's (I
s%^& you not) asking for everyone to pray for her phone?
How
do you people expect me to take this god thing seriously and
stop picking on you when you do stuff like this?
How about we
pray for the children dying of cancer? How about we pray for
children being beaten and sexually abused? How about we pray for
people suffering and wasting away toward death?
You want
people to PRAY for your STUPID PHONE??????
And the worst part
is that people are actually responding with promises to pray for
the damn thing. Can people be any dumber?
And so much for the
miracle! I guess
God's grace doesn't adhere very well to iphones.
Speaking
of dumb. Citizens of the great bastion of common sense and
logic, the state of Georgia (I know, too funny, right?), can
rest easier these days. The Georgia senate has
passed a bill banning the implantation microchips in Georgia
brains without consent--no matter what the Georgian's age. Whew.
I feel better now. Wouldn't want those
Georgians
to get
implanted and start doing the bidding of the
evil master government or something. How horrible would that
be?
You all know what this is really about, don't you? It's
about religion and the Bible. According to
Rapture Christ God's
going to rescue all the true Christians before the forced
implants go in, so I really don't see what the fuss is about.
And it just seems to me that all the true Christians would be up in
arms over the Georgia senate's legislation. Aren't they just
attempting to forestall Armageddon and thwart God's will?
Shouldn't God
smite
them or something?
02/04/2010
One of my friends on facebook posted this:
"I have a Miricle [sic] to report! Seriously! I prayed and
prayed about my iphone. I couldn't wait any longer to check it,
so about 20 minutes ago I tried to turn it on and......Its [sic]
now working! I did have to use a needle to pick out a piece of
rice that was stuck in the charging port. Thank you Lord for
caring about my cell phone!"
Where to start....
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, what an
idiot, right? I mean, it was the rice that did it. But farther
down on my page I found that she'd dropped her phone in a glass
of water, so I don't know where the heck she picked up the piece
of rice, and it being in the charging port probably wouldn't
affect the phone.
But...is she serious? Is she seriously
trying to tell us that GOD healed her iphone? God couldn't save
the hundreds of children kidnapped, raped, and murdered each
year, or the thousands starving and dying of dysentery, or the
people of Haiti....but he cares enough to heal your iphone? I
just can't get over the bizarre-ness of that.
If suffering and
dying is somehow all part of the plan and gives us the
opportunity to do good deeds, why isn't having to fork over
mulah to buy a new iphone after you carelessly dropped it into a
glass of water not an opportunity for a lesson?
Although, tell
me what good deed you can do when a little girl dies of cancer?
How does her suffering do anyone any good at all? What? It lets
you take meals to her family? Give me a break.
But God will
heal your iphone if you pray about it.
You know what, that's just disgusting.
02/03/2010 not again!
When I post more than once or twice in one day, I can safely say
that I've learned a valuable lesson. Today's lesson is this:
always continue to be polite, and attempt to find common ground
and acceptance.
I imagine that anyone reading this blog over
the last several years might think I only encountered crazy/mean
Christians. And I can see why they would think that. Those are
the kinds I like to poke fun at and talk about. I have, a few
times at least, reminded my readers that I know a lot of kind,
loving, decent people in all sorts of faiths, including
Christianity. Most of my family is made up of Christians and
most of them are better people than I am.
But, when you're an
outspoken atheist, you do tend to get some crazy emails from
some angry people. And it's too easy, really, to make
assumptions, when you get another one, about that particular
person and what might be going on for them.
I'm really glad
that my fellow Zumba instructor, who I introduced you to
earlier, and I continued our dialogue. For one thing, I found
out she's nice and normal. Unfortunately, I found that out just
after I posted my blog about her email. (What a snarky brat I
am.)
She was not happy about that, let me tell you. Fur was
flying. But I think we have come to some kind of understanding.
She wants me to let you know she'd had too much cough syrup when
she wrote to me and might have a been a tad condescending. And,
she said she did not mean that I would know the truth after I
died (and would consequently get to BURN in HELL--muwahahahaha).
No. She meant that she believes that her god will manifest
himself to me at some point in my life. I assume she believes
that will happen for all infidels. I mean, I'm not so special,
right?
I have the greatest idea for another blog about just
that very thing! But I've written too much for one day, so I'll
leave it for another very soon.
Oh, and she also wants
everyone to know that there is a third option for why Christians
misspell so many words and use poor grammar when they write hate
mail:
3. They're typing on their cell phones under the influence of
cough syrup.
You heard it here folks. Never assume anything
about anybody until you've exchanged at least five emails. Not
to say we're the best of friends, but I wouldn't slug her or
anything if I saw her in person. (Not that I'd slug anyone.
Really. Really, I hit like a girl.)
I've added a LOT of mail
in the last day or so. I put at least one under every heading
except the "sanity" group. (Figures.) And I finally added back
in some of the blog archives. I think I know where to find the
really old stuff, but that will have to wait for another time.
02/03/2010 addendum
The vast majority of insulting emails that atheists and atheist
organizations receive are riddled with spelling and grammar
errors. Why is that? Is it because:
1. The majority of people who write hate mail are poorly
educated? Or is it:
2. When people write hate mail they are so
upset that they make a lot of mistakes?
02/03/2010
Well, the Zumba world is
at it again. A fellow instructor actually used the Zumba website
"contact an instructor" function to send me a personal insult.
(Yes, you too can insult me using the Zumba company! Just go to
the website and search for me. It'll be fun!)
I suppose I wouldn't have minded if the insult was something
along the lines of: "You can't keep time." or maybe, "You really
shouldn't wear that when you teach." But no. It was about this
website.
She said, "I just wanted to tell you how sad I am for
you that you have to devote alot [sic] of time and effort into
convincing people there is no God. What an utterly un-fulfilling
thing that must be. I will sincerly [sic] being [sic] praying
for you."
First of all, of course, 'a lot' is two words and
not one. And sincerely is 'ey'. And 'being' is just wrong. Now
that the grammarian in me is content.
Why do Christians have to insult you before they say they'll
pray for you? As if the praying will make up for the fact that
they felt so much animosity they had to send you an email to
tell you how sad they are for you and how 'unfulfilled' you must
be.
She goes on (naturally): "I also find it extremly [sic]hypocritical
[sic] of you that you accuse us of being close minded [sic] when
YOU, yourself [sic] are so close minded [sic] about there being
no God. One day, you will know the truth."
And there's the
threat. There's always the threat, isn't there? One day, oh, one
day, when you die, you will find out how wrong you are and BURN
in HELL. That's really what she wanted to say, you know. That's
really what they all want to say. BURN in HELL you HERETIC.
But instead, they offer you subtle insults and threaten you and
then promise to pray for you. What would they pray about, I
wonder?
Dear Lord, please protect Dianna when she teaches her Zumba
class. Please watch out for her and her family and keep them
safe. Please help her to see that I am really a nice person,
despite the fact that I insulted her, used really poor grammar,
and misspelled a lot of words in my email.
Nope. I can't
imagine they'd pray something like that. I'm thinking, let me
see...
Dear Lord, please make everyone believe in you so I
feel better about talking to myself. He he. Right. Atheists
wish.
So, you remember my high school reunion? If you've been
reading long enough, you do. They always have to pray at my high
school reunion. What IS it with Christians and this incessant
need to make everyone in a room full of diverse people bow their
heads and beseech their deity?
Do they just not stop and think? Yes, I would like to think
that that's all it is. There's no intent to convert, or force
infidels to take part. They just want to pray. And they just
want everyone to pray with them. I can feel the spirit, yes I
can.
However, if that were really true, once they learned that
such prayer makes nonbelievers and people of other faiths feel
uncomfortable, you'd think they'd stop doing it, right? But they
don't. They just keep doing it. And that is why I guess I'm
totally wrong! It's not at all about feeling in the spirit of
good will and wanting to embrace their God and pray with a whole
bunch of people (which, as I said, I get...I mean, there was
just nothing--no thing--cooler than attending the Freedom From
Religion Foundation's non-prayer breakfast and taking part in
the Moment of Bedlam! Hundreds of atheists making noise. You
just had to be there!)
But no. When they know it bothers other
people and they do it anyway, they're doing it for one reason
only: arrogance. This is a Christian nation, they like to say.
The majority of us are Christians, and god-damn-it, we're going
to pray to our god whether you like it or not. And you should
really just stand there, bow your damn head, and be quiet while
we do it. If you don't like it, just leave! Leave the reunion
you paid to get into and be last in line for the buffet! Or
leave the convention you paid a whole hell of a lot to attend
and miss what comes next! Just get the hell out of our Christian
country (that's what they really want to say, no doubt. Heck
they DO say that!)
That is the loving (NOT), kind (NOT),
hopeful (NOT), tolerant (NOT) Christian attitude that I am,
unfortunately, most often confronted with. They turn their
prayers into weapons. They turn their "I'll pray for you" into a
weapon. They absolutely turn their "Merry Christmas" into a
weapon.
They're mean-spirited people. And I'm pretty sick of
it. I was to the point where I was tired of writing about them
and their behavior. I only wrote about the Zumba Christians
before because I thought it was so funny...and hypocritical. But
now I see that I must continue to harp on the disconnect between
who they (and their more liberal allies) say they are, and who
they really are. I will continue to expose their behavior
here...and take the heat. (LOL. Get it? Take the heat? He he he)
01/26/10
Read
"Haiti and the hypocrisy of Christian theology" by Richard
Dawkins. Man, I love that guy. He can skewer nonsensical
thinking better than anybody. It's always fun to read the
comments he elicits, too. Are people THAT stupid? How can you
read something and then let everybody know you have know clue
what you just read?
People can be so stupid; it boggles.
I'm
off to a writers' conference this weekend. Prepared for the
usual: What have you published? And the inevitable responses
that follow. Quizzical looks, pauses before exiting, turning
away, gasps, that sort of thing. Funny thing is, there are quite
a number of atheists in the room every year. I'm just not a good
little keep-it-to-yourself atheist, I guess.
There are few atheists who are upset that the new
Darwin movie didn't get a larger distribution. Are you
kidding me? Are there any explosions or car chases in it? Is it
a funny romance? Does it have any famous actors in it? Does it
have a dramatic, suspenseful story that keeps you on the edge of
your seat? No? And yet you still think every theater in the
country should run it just because you want to see it? Do you
not understand business at all?
Then we have the
"Friendly Atheist" who claims that
Indiana Christians oppose a bill that would help children,
clearly attempting to cast them as neglectful of the welfare of
children. I hate it when people do that.
I remember when my
youngest went to a charter school. It was owned by a woman who
one time told me that the Pledge was a non-issue because it
could only offend atheists and how many of them could there be,
right? She obviously didn't know who she was talking to.
Anyway, there was some scuffle in the school board;
apparently they were trying to tighten the rules for charter
schools. And this woman says, "And they claim to care about the
education of our children!"
To her, if you didn't agree with HOW children should or could
be educated, you didn't care about their education at all.
So,
the Indiana Christians must be heartless child abusers for not
wanting the government to step in and regulate church day care
centers. This is typical of liberal atheists, though. More
government in our lives. More control. They think they can force
people to be tolerant of others by forcing them to hire people
they don't want to hire.
In this case, of course, the
government wants church day cares to hire only so-called
"qualified" people...by the government's standards, of course.
That's really rich, when you think about it.
It seems to me
that churches feel they should be outside government intrusion,
because of separation of church and state and all. Yes, as long
as this "separation" thing works in their favor, they're all for
it. But when it doesn't--when, say, people want them to get
their religion out of public schools, oh, well then, there's no
such thing.
I digress.
Just because churches don't want the
government telling them who is qualified to work in their day
care centers (because next the government will be telling them
they have to hire gays and atheists, for god's sake!), doesn't
mean they don't care about children. To even hint that they
don't in your title is just weak.
On a happier note, the
Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Doodlee under the great Doodler, has
seen fit to bless us with proof of her existence by exposing her
likeness on a
potato chip. Gotta love these deities. They really know how
to yank stupid people's chains.
01/12/10
Great quote in the LTE, "Don't push your religion on others,"
under "Religion" in the news:
"There are a lot of Christians who feel persecuted for talking
about their beliefs in public. The editorial displayed some of
those feelings when the author asked, 'How can there exist such
virulent anti-Christian venom in a majority Christian nation?'
There isn't 'anti-Christian venom'; there is anti-proselytizing
venom."
01/04/10
Okay, sensitive subject time. I'm not sure about the ethics
here...if I should or even can discuss this. I guess I'll have
to leave out some important information. Hehehe.
There's this
new aerobic sensation out there, you may have heard about it.
It's called Zumba. Zumba
uses Latin rhythms and a
LOT of
booty shaking. Some of the younger, more, shall we say, fit
instructors add a level of spicy to their classes that make them
sizzle and draw men (and women because there are some
smokin' hot guy instructors out there) like flies.
The music used is often reggaeton, kind of like Latin
hip-hop, with very suggestive lyrics and cursing. But this is
all okay, because Zumba is fresh and young and hip and nobody
really cares. They just want to dance.
Well, somewhere--and
I'm not saying where--somebody started up a discussion with: How
do you use Zumba to glorify God? And a bunch of these Christians
started talking about what songs they use and whether or not
they tone down the
booty
shaking. Most of them seem to think the booty shaking is
just fine with the big guy.
And my thinking is very simple: if
you think hip circles and body rolls glorify God, you're reading
the wrong book. Don't get me wrong. If these were people who
were very liberal and worshiped, maybe, the UU god or something,
I wouldn't have thought twice about it. But these were people
who were saying the US was founded on Christianity and who were
upset about people complaining that bringing religion into your
fitness class might not be a good idea, while apparently it's
okay to offend Christians with bad language and dissin' the big
guy's son.
I almost--almost--joined the conversation at that
point to clue that person in on the difference between religion
and moral sensibilities, but I knew it would land on deaf ears
(read closed mind).
But I can say it here.
We can be careful
not to bring religion into parts of our lives in which we know
not everyone is a believer. This only makes sense. People come
to your class for a workout, not a prayer. But if the music you
use in your class and the moves you do with your body offend
someone, that is their problem to deal with. If Zumba was a
Christian workout, I could see what the complaint is. But if
Zumba was a Christian workout, it wouldn't be any fun.
You
can't go around all day complaining when someone curses by
saying they've offended you as a Christian. That's just
ridiculous. And we live in a free society, where I can denounce
your religion and make fun of your god. If you're offended,
okay, go away and stop listening.
But none of that makes it
okay for you to bring your religion into a secular class that I
have paid for anymore than it would be okay for me to denounce
your god in that class. Doesn't that make any sense at all?
Well, then they started talking about a song we use that
appeared to be Christian! The lyrics they could understand were
very religious. This is a popular song, but it is approved,
shall we say, by Zumba.
My first thought was, ick. I don't
think I want to use that song. It sounded so overtly religious
that it could offend someone, given that they could understand
Spanish. But, as it turns out, the song is a Santeria cleansing
chant.
And I'm sorry to say that made me giggle with pleasure. What
are they going to do now? Are they going to glorify God and stop
using that song?
Somehow I don't think so. Somehow, I think
they're hypocrites.
01/01/10
Another
year around the sun! The Solstice holidays are finished, I
feel full and fat, and we're starting all over again.
Something strange happened to me in
the last week of 2009. I'm so
embarrassed, I can't tell you. Seriously. I realized that I
was still struggling with a hurt that was about ten years old!
How does that happen?
I guess I've been very wrapped up in my immediate family and
only dealing with those issues that I was able to deal with. I
honestly didn't realize that an old problem was still bugging me
until I made an
arse of myself in my blog about it.
Not that I'm a
stranger to making an
arse of myself. Naturally.
So, I think I'm over it now. I
mean, really, really over it. A lot of that has to do with the
very kind and forgiving behavior of the other parties involved.
(You know I don't mean myself. I'm not even sure I know what
kindness looks like on my face.)
So, here we are on the
first day of a brand new year. (Cue hubby in the background:
"You know all the numbers are just man-made and therefore
meaningless." Yeah, yeah, okay. But the tilt of the earth and
the seasons and the renewal every year must mean something!?)
So, I feel renewed myself, and rejuvenated.
I'm going back to
teaching Zumba and I have
a weekly class, plus a half share in a Saturday rotation at a
local gym. I am SO excited to be back! But being back has made
me pull in a little with the atheism activism. This has happened
before, so for me, it's a no-brainer.
I took the "Atheism is
Myth-understood" sticker off my car and exchanged all of my
atheism stickers for others that mean just as much to me, but
aren't quite so in-your-face. Many of you may consider this some
kind of cop-out, or compromise; but I don't think I agree.
It's one thing to be an atheist, to live free of dogma, to
embrace science and the unknown, and to be honest with others
about that, and quite another to broadcast it everywhere you go.
I mean, look at it this way. The religious people that I respect
the most don't have Jesus fish on their cars. They certainly
wouldn't put anti-atheist or homophobic emblems on their cars.
And they don't talk about God and Jesus all the time, every time
I see them.
So, I don't see how I am compromising by
recognizing that it's not a good idea to insult people while I'm
on my way into the gym to teach Zumba.
So, my new
bumper stickers are:
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large
groups." And:
"I'm feeling much better since I gave up all hope."
I still
have my FSM, of course.
And she [uh, yeah, I said SHE] says tons about what I think
about religion and religious people in a way that most wouldn't
even understand. It's like a fabulous private joke riding on the
back of my van.
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